Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hexalen® and the flowers, #3

"What's with this? Today you are taking a photograph of your pills with flowers, and yesterday you took the pills to the Chinese market! You are blowing this way out of proportion! Just take them and shut-up!" I can almost hear 'Person A' say.

'Person B' said that a patient was feeling so good that he stopped taking his pills, contrary to his doctor's advice. His cancer returned.

Then, 'Person C' had so much emotional turmoil in taking the toxic chemotherapy pills that the morning was torture until he finally swallowed the first of the three daily doses.

So I ask myself, how can I recognize my potential difficulties and challenges, and go beyond them, including my most recent fright of actually getting a pill caught in my throat?

I will try to make light of fears and side effects.
I will honor the daily achievements.
I will be grateful. I will be truthful.
I will make art out of my observations, thoughts, dialogues.
I will ask for support.


  1. Hi Michelle' I am Barbara.I have been fighting colon cancer since feb. 2008. I just got back from having a PET and a CT scan. Iget the results in about a week. I was on chemo for about 2 months. Mine was given through a port implanted in my chest. I stopped after about 2 months because of the terrible side effects. I'll have to decide any treatments after we get the results. Hoping there will be good news! You take care friend,you have my prayers and support.

  2. Hi Barbara. Here in Santa Monica, CA, I have been attending two different types of cancer support groups and they have been a tremendous support. Consider finding one at your Cancer Center, if you haven't already.
    One of the gals in group has just started a combination of drugs for her colon cancer that returned. 5fu is one of the same drugs that you are taking. She said the second infusion/cycle (or something like that) was a bit easier because after the cocktail of drugs was infused, she was hydrated for 4 days at home. Overall, the drugs for her cancer have been really difficult on her body, just as you write.
    With care and calm--Michelle

  3. To "Girl Holding On,"
    My thoughts and prayers are with you.