Pacman meets ovarian cancer

more later...

...I'm very tired and weak...

Dear Diary,

When in doubt, write it down

Among the many qualities cancer survivors acquire on their path of healing is the ability to sense when things are changing in their bodies. As a result of scans and/or lab work, those hunches are often confirmed.

Dear Diary,

A few weeks ago I had pains in my abdominal/pelvic area. Medical staff checked it out and said it didn't seem to be serious. "Go on your trip and have a good time, call if things get worst!"

The morning after I returned, my doctor called while he was on vacation. The recent blood work was red flagged (my term) and get in for a CT scan as soon as possible, is what came across. Seven hours later, the CT scan was completed.

My dear Diary, the results are in. The clinical trial I began one month ago is not helping because the ovarian cancer is progressing. #@&#!!!!

And the pain and tenderness has been increasing. double #@&!!!!

So as of two days ago, I'm off of that clinical trial (aka, CT #1: Avastin and the mystery drug)

In two days I will again be in the doctor's office to discuss the next treatment plan, something I will probably refer to as CT #2,

So as I write to you Diary, we have to recall that during the past 26 months three out of the five earlier chemotherapy treatments had successfully reduced the cancer to a more livable level, such as 'no sign of disease' or 'cancer free' or 'remission.' And if it was possible then, it will be possible again!

My Dear diary, thank you for being here whenever I need to express myself. I bet you realize by this time that sometimes I just can't talk, I can only write. Thank you for just being a good listener. Now, I think I can go for that walk that I have been putting off all day long.

Image above:

Basket of writing pads and clip boards at The Wellness Community in Santa Monica

In transition

Day in the Life of Michelle

Major Change in Cancer Treatment--

Three weeks ago an emergency PET/CT scan and tumor marker blood test revealed that chemo was not working and I was sent to another doctor for possible participation in a clinical trial. Two weeks of lab work, physical exam, review of previous treatment reports, and three MRIs resulted in acceptance in a clinical trial of twice monthly infusion of two drugs, Avastin and mystery drug.

Am I glad I qualified to be in the clinical trial? Yes, because I have new options. You might recall that during the past two years my previous oncologist took me through five different chemotherapy drugs for the cancer in my pelvic region. Three of the drugs successfully attacked the cancer, but as is the case with my particular cancer, the cancer 'smartens up' and the chemo becomes useless.

The 'best part' about being at my new medical facility for the clinical trial is that I live ten blocks from the clinic. The other 'best thing' is the place I'm going for the (four, going on five) MRIs is at an imaging center just a few miles from my home. Compare that to the forty minute drive, from door to door of my previous and wonderful doctor, and 'I'm a happy camper!'

My arms are providing the blood for analysis, sometimes ten vials at a time, and my blood vessels are the highways for medical contrasts and clinical trial drugs, however, the injured tissues from multiple poking on both arms are sensitive. Today my arms are healing through the color range of red, green, and purple.

The technicians say, "You have great veins, now just relax."

Yeah, right! I think. Just poke me in the right spot and then I won't tighten up!

The next few months looks like this:

Next week, blood draw and the following week receive the second infusion of drugs in the left arm while my right arm is used for multiple blood draws. I'm given multiple EKGs and my vitals are checked (heart rate, blood pressure and pulse) every 15 minutes

The following week: MRI with contrast and return to clinic for blood draw, aka "Safety labs"

This completes Cycle 1, about one month in length

Mid August begin Cycle 2 with "Safety labs" (multiple blood draws, urinalysis ), EKGs, check of vitals every 15 minutes during the infusion process of the two bags of liquid drugs.

The following week, "Safety labs"

Next week, drug infusion, and of course, Safety labs, EKGs, and check of vitals every 15 minutes during the infusion process

The following week, "Safety labs"

PET/CT scan in September

Begin Cycle 3, if everything is going as planned.

Are there side effects?

Yes!

Possibly! and

No!

This topic will be explored in the future

"Day in the Life of Michelle"

mixed media

about 11 x 14 "

July 2010

Premiere Oncology Foundation Art Therapy workshop