"Hello Michelle, this is Dr._ calling..."

At the Farmers Market

March 2010

It is hard not to be alarmed when my oncologist called. He never calls unless I have left a message for him. He just called.

It is Friday morning and I'm planning a little trip.

"I'm concerned that your CA-125 is rising," he began.

Since I was in for a check-up two days ago and blood was drawn, he was concerned with the results that just came in. When I saw him on Wednesday, the plan was to begin taking the 6th month of my ChemoCaps (8 Hexalen capsules a day for 14 days). Up until last month the medicine was bringing down the CA-125 tumor marker.

As a result of this decrease, I have been feeling pretty healthy and confident.

But on Wednesday, when I asked what April's CA-125 was, he reported, "65." I knew it was up from the previous months, but I quickly responded, "Oh, a hiccup!" (I'm thinking, the number just went up and then it will drop--right! But it didn't drop THIS month either.

Two days ago the plan was to have a PET scan in a few months, depending on the results of my monthly blood draw. STOP THE PRESS!

My doctor of six years is calling in for an immediate insurance approval for a PET scan, asap.

"But Doctor, I'm planning on taking a little trip, can I still go?"

"Sure, Go and have a good time!"

We both chuckled--the quality life of a person with cancer is so often determined by the results of the monthly, or regularly scheduled scan and lab work.

Right, sure,

celebrate! With this hanging over my head...

OkOkay,

Think the big picture:

He is catching this early,

There are more chemotherapy medicines to help extend my life, as he is treating me,

But, why did I throw-up two days ago? This has happened twice in the past two years of chemo.

What's that ache in my hip?

What will the new chemo be like?

But he is catching it early, or is he?

Ovarian-type cancer has a mind of its own...

...Go and have a good time...

New treatment plan: Chemo #4--Hexalen®

I'm entering a new phase of treatment for the primary peritoneal cancer, aka, my cancer #3. (It is being treated like ovarian cancer)

In 2-3 weeks, depending of severity of the side effects from Chemo #3 (Doxil®), I will begin taking the Hexalen® pills--14 days on, 14 days off. After three months of treatment I'll get a scan.

Oh yes, I said 'side effects from Chemo #3:' difficulty in swallowing vitamin pills and food, open sores in my mouth, swollen lips and mouth, (and I even didn't receive Botox®, but prescription Lidocaine 2% for the mouth did wonders. For the first time since this mouth stuff began about five weeks ago, this afternoon I felt some relief).

Back to the side effects: red, peeling, dry, and very tender areas of skin on various areas of my body. (But, I keep reminding myself, the Doxil® really brought down my tumor marker so overall it did a good job. "Don't forget-Don't forget" is the mantra). Okay, I finished complaining, that is, until I get so overwhelmed that I have to write about this again.

Now back to new treatment: I feel rather excited that I won't be getting infusions. My oncology nurse was excellent and gentle so my blood vessel just seemed to dance up to the surface of my skin. Nausea is a possibility (be positive), so I just purchased the Zofran® pills with an easy-off top (my hands hurt but hopefully they will be back to normal when I start Chemo #4).

Something I'm going to really miss is the support I received from my ChemoBuddies (CBs). I always had someone to talk with while I was receiving chemo through the vein. What is a cancer survivor to do??

I can't call my CBs three times a day while I'm taking my 6 pills a day!

And then, do I celebrate during the 14 days I'm taking the 84 pills OR do I celebrate during the 14 days that I'm not taking the pills?

What is this cancer survivor to do??

Maybe, I can make some art...